Going home

Tonight I pull into the driveway of my home on a street that means "heaven's view" in another language. A home new to me since I lost my son Sam three years ago at the sweet age of 16. He was curious about drugs and he thought LSD or Acid would protect him from a possible school random drug test after the weekend was over. He was unknowingly sold poison. A synthetic hallucinogen drug called 25i-NBOMe. It was legal six months before he died. A drug user bought it over the internet from overseas, like China. It arrived in the mail at his door step where he was on house arrest at the age of 24. He never left his house when he mixed it with Everclear and put it on blotting paper as he described to law enforcement when he was arrested days after my son's death. He sold it as LSD to the 19 year old drug user my son had been put in contact with. The Marion County Assistant District Attorney asked him in court why he sold the dangerously lethal synthetic drug as LSD. After a deafening silence that lasted way too long, he said he didn't know.

I was alone in court that day just as I am now when I pull in my drive. Once a younger brother with joy at his fingertips from being the baby of the family, Sam's brother Nick is now 18 and a Freshman at Purdue. Sam gone at 16 and a Sophomore at Center Grove High School. Three years after loss and living life on another level. The home I'm walking into is deafly quiet although the portraits on the wall show eyes filled with laughter and smiles that overflow happiness. Home.

Jeanine Motsay